This topic became a curiosity during a recent conversation with a friend. We were reflecting on the pandemic and I retold the story of my weekly conversations with the Butcher that became such a joy! Comparing fish, and seeing what came in new seemed like such an irrelevant conversation topic, but one that instantly became refreshing when so many my “normal” social interactions were limited. As with most blog posts I asked myself a question, do these relationships improve our wellness?
In the New York Times article title “Why you Need Weak Tie Relationships” the author highlights why research work by Sociologist Mark Granovetter is important to our well being. He defines low-stakes relationships as relationships in which we have small-scale interactions. For me, it’s the Dillard’s dress department individual who we casually discuss her flight attendant career before retirement; the individual who stocks my favorite apples at a local market and shows great concern when they’re running low; or my beloved pup’s Groomer who we get a kick out of Cleopatra’s sheer delight at her presence. My final example is key to another interesting aspect of this body of work; how we interact with our community. When I walk Cleopatra around the neighborhood, my neighbor loves to wave us over and chat about the latest book reads when I pass her home. According to this research, not only can these connections affect our job prospects, they also can have a positive impact on our well-being by helping us feel more connected to other social groups.
Low stakes ties feel as necessary to social wellness as my long term strong ties. They seem to offer a more low risk feel and allow un-pressured opportunities for organic communication uninhibited by a goal or required language. They also feel communal which by definition means shared by all members of a community; for common use. The Butcher in the pandemic became vital to the community for various parts of wellness we didn’t appreciate until the threat of losing it became apparent. For that lesson, I can appreciate our time in quarantine.
Separately, but in relation Sylvia Morelli’s published research in Psychological and Cognitive Sciences correlates the power of weak ties and wellbeing through Central Individuals. Central Individuals in a community take central roles and are sought out by others for advice, support, fun, and companionship. Central individuals substantially impact the health and well-being of their community for example, by reducing stress and generating opportunities for other community members. Although Central Individuals can serve in both weak and strong ties, they are of upmost importance to the health of the community.
In closing, I recommend simply leaning into the weak tie relationships in your life. Chat it up with your favorite barista, say hello to the crossing guard at your kids school or even take a moment to appreciate a beautiful piece of art with the Security Guard standing near it (I’ve had some amazing conversations in this category). In the words of Dr. Maya Angelou “behind a strangers face may be a friend”.
In peace,
J
Resources: Empathy and well-being correlate with centrality in different social networks; Why you Need a Network of Law Stakes Casual Friendships;Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties
