A close friend of mine Ms. Nicole Reed (book available on Amazon) debuted her first novel in late 2021. I had the incredible pleasure of reading it many times and have sent multiple copies to friends and families. The book Slaying Grace provides an inclusive and enlightening take on modern manners and etiquette. As an international social, business etiquette and ethics expert, she has the expertise to do so.
Until reading this book, I never heard the work “honorific” but was taught its’ principles from an early age. Whether that was in school with “Ms” or “Mr”, honoring Church members with their titles (Pastor, Deacon, ect…), or healthcare settings “Nurse Jones”, or “Dr. Taylor”. The opportunity to display courtesy with honorifics are constant, yet we often default to more common language. I am incredibly grateful for this upbringing as it allows me to move through various intersections with ease. Some may call is “code switching”. but we’ll get into that in a future post.
Professionally, I’ve encountered the both sides of this coin. There are those that skip “Ms”, “Mrs”, or even my educational title “Dr” and shorten my first name to “Judy” before using the name written (which is Judith). I’ve also encountered incredibly respectful colleagues who immediately use my educational title as they understand why only 1% of the population have a doctoral degree and honor it (it’s not easy ;). As I think about that, it reminds me of Aretha Franklin’s line “find out what it means to me“. She truly was a genius.
This topic rose to the top of my blog list upon recently interacting with HBCU Central State University. From top to bottom, the Administration and Staff provide each other with the highest level of honorifics. In meetings we hear them refer to each other using “Ms.” and “Mr.” with everyone. That level of respect among each other was inspirational and a bit sobering to see. If you aren’t aware of the history of honorifics and Jim Crow, I again recommend you read Nicole’s book to understand why this topic is culturally relevant and important.
I close with saying I completely understand the need for “commonality” and lowering social interactions from professional to common in the workplace. More common language builds congeniality and increases approachability. I also believe it can be done still using honorifics to display respect on the level each individual prefers. If you’ve made it this far in the post, I hope I at least gave you something to ponder.
In peace,
Judith
