“With your family history and these numbers, let’s have the conversation”. This is how my Doctor started our visit in Aug 2022. I knew it was coming…. I could probably quote the stats, research and trajectory Myself. For years I prioritized my family, career, community, and pretty much anything else I can delve in; while avoiding doing the real work on my own health. Sadly, avoidance came very naturally and the void was filled with enough accolades I could fill a trophy case.
When Doc spoke these words all I could do was put my head in my hands. She was right and I was ready. We made a plan and I left the office overwhelmed but determined.
Over the course of the next few months I made a clear decision to prioritize health and treat it with the level of curiosity and vigor I’ve done with so many external areas of my life. I’ve spoken about the many ways I began to shift, however this post is about one of the tools I used to center and listen to the whispers. I took a personal retreat. I
My first retreat came as an “assignment” at the end of of my last Doctoral class. I had never thought to do something of this nature. It quite honestly felt very indulgent. Off I went on an overnight stay at a hotel in Indiana, a short drive from my husband and son.
Although the start up was slow (and full of guilt) it became some of the most meaningful time I had spent with myself that year. When I arrived back to my family the next morning I knew this would not be the last time. Since then, I’ve taken at least 2 personal retreats a year. Sometimes it’s just a few hours in a creative space, sometimes it’s a solo alone trip for a couple days. It’s always exactly what I needed.
As I prepare for my next retreat (a few hours in a creative space) below are a few questions that I begin with:
What is my mess?
- Last year it was my health, I knew it was time to seriously follow WHAT (the plan my doctor and I developed). The HOW was much more complicated.
How do I need to spend this time?
- Rest
- Planning
- Focused time on Projects
- Brain space to make a big decision
Schedule the date
- Take the time off from work
- Book this time when the kiddos are in school
- Protect this time from routine items (laundry, home tasks… unless that’s how you jam!),
Location
- Find a space that sparks joy and ignites beauty
Tools (ideas only)
- Notebook
- Coffee ☕️ or your favorite drink
- Snacks
- Tech (for me it’s my iPad as it holds both home and work calendars)
- 2024 Planner
- Current Planner
- Jammin Music Playlist
- Supplies for hobbies (brain breaks)
Time investment ideas
- Brainstorm goals
- Plan wellness days
- Engage in a hobby
- I love journaling, so I will be creating a bullet journal page about our families challenge to visit 20 state or national parks in 2024. Fun way to pair 2 in 1.
- Pair the time with a wellness activity
- After my retreat, I’m ending the day at a gospel concert. Closing out deep restorative work with spiritual wellness feels right for me.
- Travel plan
- Reflect or set intentions on professional learning
- Organize family time
Lastly, schedule your next retreat
- If you find the time was worthwhile, set your next date.
14 months after that very difficult conversation with my doctor I try to live my messy mission every day. It’s incredibly important to me that my actions demonstrate my words. Each choice, habit and lifestyle is a direct reflection of hard fought time spent with myself. I hope sharing my mess helps someone along the way.
In peace,
J
References: How to Plan a Personal Retreat The Lazy Genius Podcast; The Solo Personal Retreat; Brighter by the Day by Robin Roberts; The Elevation Method by Tina Wells; Planning Retreats Best Laid Plans Podcast