As I traverse the state of Ohio, no matter the race, culture, region or background I often hear the same line “these days I’m just trying to get by“. Our dialogue flows indifferent to the cause; maternal health, heart disease, poor nutrition or mental health. Often I hear these similarities from the Helper and those being Helped. As I step back and reflect the progress women have made, I would be remissed not to remind Myself we must be each others keeper. That is how we progress together.
The Experiences we Share
There isn’t enough blog space to list every experience the collective “We” share. However, I picked a few I’ve heard from women in my circle most recently that gave me pause (in both good and bad ways).
When I think of how connected we are no matter our differences, I almost always start to think of my neighbor. I work outside the home, she does not. And yet, every time we see each other we share the same middle school blues from our Sons. It’s quite hilarious. Our shared experience bonds us if even just for the brevity of a band concert, activity pick up line, or latest sports action. The dialogue flows in the same order, “can you believe xxx? Yes, because xxx does it too… laugh, laugh, laugh, let’s keep them busy!” I so enjoy our talks as they let us both know we’re not alone! It’s the type of Micro Joy I talk about in previous post.
These type of social connection uplifts our moods and enhances our lives. An article title The Connection Prescription takes this notion a step further. Increasing social connections, prescribing connection, and inquiring about quantity and quality of social interactions at routine visits are ways that lifestyle medicine specialists use connection to help patients to add not only years to their life but also health and well-being to those years.
On the flip side of this coin, we know not all social connection improves wellbeing. Friendship Coach Danielle Bayard Jackson talks about relational aggression in her blog titled “How to Spot Relational Aggression. The working definition she uses includes trying to cut someone down without physical aggression. She states “While the tactic isn’t exclusive to women, there are many cultural, social, and psychological influences that make it a go-to strategy for women who find themselves in conflict with one another. So much strength and power come from female friendships that when another woman harms that connection, there’s a ripple effect, and rebuilding that network of relationships is tough work“. Wow…. she summarizes these behaviors artfully and it’s effect on those they hurt.
We know there is stregnth and power in the connectedness of women. A few weeks back I attended a Senior Zumba class at YMCA. I was standing in the back dancing the moves while also observing the most beautiful array of brown skinnned women laughing, moving and encouraging each other. Their joy was palpable and infectious. Within a 7 minutes radius of the facility I could give you 100 reasons why the reports, stats, and figures I’m often handed about this community should spark discontent, not joy. And yet, these women right in front of my eyes demonstrate fortitude some communities could only dream of. Fortitude is the ability to maintain stregnth of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage and maintain or even build their well-being. These women demonstrated “keeping my sister”. With each hi-5, encouraging Whoop and smile they sent lasting positive energy to each other. In that moment they taught me a form of “keeping” I don’t think I’d witnessed before.
The Health Outcomes we Share
This section is dedicated to the “why” we should be our sisters keepers. If we lift up each other the collective lifts. Both the American Heart Association and American Diabetes Association gives us many reasons on the why:
- Study of female health professionals with high levels of acute and chronic stress were double the risk of diabetes
- Cardiovascular disease kills more women than all forms of cancer combined and yet only 44% of women recognize that cardiovascular disease is their greatest health threat.
- Among females 20 years and older, nearly 45% are living with some form of cardiovascular disease and less than 50% of women entering pregnancy in the United States have good heart health.
- Cardiovascular disease is the No. 1 killer of new moms and accounts for over on-third of maternal deaths. Black women have some of the highest maternal mortality rates.
- Overall, 10% to 20% of women will have a health issue during pregnancy, and high blood pressure, preeclampsia and gestational diabetes during pregnancy greatly increase a women’s risk for developing cardiovascular disease later in life.
- Going through menopause does not cause cardiovascular disease, but the approach of menopause marks a point in midlife when women’s cardiovascular risk factors can accelerate, making increased focus on health during this pivotal life stage is crucial.
- Most cardiac and stroke events can be prevented through education and lifestyle changes, such as moving more, eating smart and managing blood pressure.
- 51.9% of high blood pressure deaths, otherwise known as hypertension or the “silent killer,” are in women, and out of all women, 57.6% of Black females have hypertension — more than any other race or ethnicity.
- While there are an estimated 4.1 million female stroke survivors living today, approximately 57.5% of total stroke deaths are in women.
- Women are often less likely to receive bystander CPR because rescuers often fear accusations of inappropriate touching, sexual assault or injuring the victim.
- Women continue to be underrepresented in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM) fields, as well as in research. In fact, women occupy nearly half of all U.S. jobs (48%), but only 27% of jobs in STEM fields. Furthermore, only 38% of participants in clinical cardiovascular trials are women.
The Grace we Should Share
You can be a high earner but still make choices that do not center care, tenderness or balance in your life, especially if you’ve been conditioned or expected to do everything the hard way. I send this message to all women (and know I always start the message with myself):
- Set Boundaries
- Schedule Time Off
- Move your body
- Seek out support— Be LOUD
- Show up authentically
- Feed yourself nutritious food
- Take Breaks
In closing, I love elevating tangible ways to support our sisters. The list below are 10 ways (both free and not free) to support our sisters. Listen to a podcast, enjoy a meal, or make a purchase. OR maybe even share 10 women-owned business with others that we can support!