Alone time is not lonely

One of my favorite gospel songs by Byron Courtney Wilson has a line that says “my peace of mind is worth fighting for”. In that statement, he was referencing his commitment to making time for his spiritual practice, knowing the benefits it gives him. Now you may be questioning where I placed this post, and quite frankly I too went back and forth on whether or not to bucket this category as “social” or “spiritual” wellness. As I went back and read the definition of social wellness “the ability to interact in a global world” I realized it is because I take consistent alone time with Myself, I am a better Mom, Wife, Employee, Community Volunteer ect…

In the Forbes article “7 Science Back Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone” Psychotherapist Amy Morin says she hears these excuses when telling her clients to spend more time alone  “I’m too busy to make time for myself,” or “I can’t sit still. I need to be productive“. Although I won’t go into depth of each counter reason she provides to spend time alone, there were two that resonated with me from my own experiences:

1. Solitude Sparks Creativity: Amy says there’s a reason a lot of authors or artists want to go to a cabin in the woods or a private studio to work. Being alone with your thoughts gives your brain a chance to wander, which can help you become more creative. The most creative brain I’ve ever experienced was spending time in float tank. My brain was able to focus on what ideas were held deep inside and “float” (haha) them to the top.
2. Being alone can help you build mental strength: According to the article, studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression. I would go a step further and add mental resilience along with strength. Knowing oneself deepens your ability to be resilient in times of turmoil and stress. Purposeful alone time can deepen this relationship with yourself.

Since I’m married to an extrovert, I can totally relate to those that don’t feel alone time can be useful to them. Extroverts typically get their energy from others, as introverts (ME!) get their energy from within. That’s why most days we balance each other. However, there are signs even as an introvert you may need alone time, but not aware of it.

In the article 14 signs you need some alone time, Dr. Kislev listed a couple that I would recommend using to check in with yourself:

1. You feel like you don’t have any personal hobbies or interests; I can recall one day 4 years ago speaking with a friend about not having any “true” hobbies. I joined in interests, or events I was invited to, but couldn’t think of any I pursued independently. This was a sign I was not spending enough time with myself for Me. I encourage you to take a pulse on your hobbies and interests, are they influenced for you, or are they the true whispers of your heart :)?
2. You feel like you are not living the life you want to live. Designing your life is something I personally feel is one of the most deeply satisfying feelings. Good or bad, knowing you designed a life you love can go far. To do so, it takes some alone time to place your thoughts down and tap into your designs. If you need tools that can help with Life Design exercises, I have a blog post that can help here.

I started this blog, and continue to fuel Myself based on the notion wellness can be a tool for everyone. Financial status should not be a barrier to living a life of well being. You can utilize the tips below at little to no cost (unless you need to purchase a pet, even then there are shelter-based programs that can help connect pets to families) for your journey, or share with a Friend who may need it.

In peace,

J

Resources:

7 Science backed reasons to You Should Spend More Time Alone; 14 Signs You Need Some Alone Time

Want More Content?

The 7 Whispers Book is now available for purchase! Be prepared to make this book messy! Seventeen months into my personal wellness journey, a lightbulb hit. The 7 dimensions of health model, is an ongoing journey, not a destination. So, I chose to create the journal I wish I had. Elevating your health helps everyone in your life. This journal is filled with “quick read” nuggets and easy to follow templates that will help you swag and sway between each health dimension attuned to personal harmony.

Alone time self-love Stress Management