This year my husband and I took a long weekend away just the two of us. This was very rare for, and we recognized it almost immediately. My Son is typically our travel partner near and far. Over the course of those days we couldn’t stop mentioning to each other how grateful we were to have this time. It truly was restorative.
This year the Office of the Surgeon General released a white paper on the stressors of parenting and well-being. U.S Surgeon General Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy has implored us “something has to change”. He states “Supporting parents and caregivers will require a series of thoughtful policy changes.
Last year I wrote a post on taking time to hang up your cape from time to time. That post was very popular. Given the amount of friends and family I’ve heard discussing burn out lately, I thought it was time to revisit it.
Parents, take a break
As a Mom to a 13 year old, what I’ve learned over the years, is I’m his BEST Mom when I’m my BEST self. If I don’t, take time for recovery, and restoration the daily challenges could inhibit resilience when tough times occur.
“Many parents also struggle with a modern practice of time-intensive parenting and contemporary expectations around childhood achievement that tells them if they are not doing more and more for their children in the escalating race for success, they will fail as parents.
Open dialogue about these challenges can combat feelings of shame and guilt and cultivate mutual support. It can also help build the momentum needed to ultimately shift practices and collective expectations to be more consistent with health and well-being” Parents Under Pressure
Parents consistently report experiencing high levels of stress compared to other adults
According to 2023 data:
33% of parents report high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults.
48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.
We must expand community programs that will help ensure parents and caregivers can get time off to be with a sick child, secure affordable child care, access reliable mental health care, and benefit from places and initiatives that support social connection and community.
How can Parents take Action?
Remember, caring for yourself is a key part of how you care for your family.
Nurture connections with other parents and caregivers.
Empower yourself with information about mental health care.
Recognize how mental health challenges manifest and seek help when needed.
Set clear boundaries
Judith’s Musings- 5 Hacks
When my Son was in first grade. I was running for the train after hugging him a bit longer than I wanted to at drop-off. I subsequently missed my train….… 🤦🏾♀️. I did the lonely walk back to my car to await the next one. As I sipped my thermos of coffee and scanned the phone I had an aha moment 💭… I should get these moments! The very next day I talked with my husband to build a schedule that allowed me just a few min to drink coffee from a mug before the day began. To this day, I still do so!
Give yourself 15
Every morning before the house wakes up I take at least 15 min to center Myself. These few short minutes exponentially help my mood and productivity. Giving yourself just a few minutes before you give to everyone one else leads to less decision fatigue.
Start the School Year off by taking a few hours to yourself.
Every year on the first day of school, I take a few hours off in the morning to whooosah…..
During this time:
I make myself a nutritious smoothie
Catch up on my reading
Watch morning show I never get to see (❤️Robin Roberts!!!)
Or even grab a latte from my favorite coffee shop.
I preserve this time from routine chores, or obligations.
“This is your time”
Summers are so much fun with the kiddos but they are also exhausting. Pat yourself on the back you did it!
Plan Your Movement and preserve the time
I’ve been there… the guilt of walking away for an exercise class during homework time. It’s very real guilt…
Let me give you another narrative, you will be sharper when you return.
Ok I know Us “Type A’s” have a hard time with this one. But here me out!
If you have a Partner it will remind them you are not Super-human
It will remind your kiddo you are not Super-person
Pair Self-Care with Kiddo activities
Rather than use narratives I’m going to give tangible examples that truly work
Tutoring – Grab a quick manicure
Sports practice – Walking the track
Music lessons – Gratitude journaling
After-school club – grocery run for those new corn bread ingredients you’ve been wanting to try (I 💚 cornbread had to throw that one in)
***all of these INSTEAD of scrolling on the phone. I wrote a whole post about digital detox and how it impacts our wellbeing.
Great resource
***BONUS!! Use Payday as a Trigger to do something nice for yourself
When my Son was little, we had a routine on “payday” work days. I’d pick him up after preschool and he would say “it’s friday is it payday?”. He knew on paydays we would treat ourselves! When the budget was tight this would be something as small as a new nail polish for me, and a dollar store toy for him. We would treasure these moments so much.
Looking back on it, I think it taught him a bit of self-discipline as when we would go into the stores on other days I would say to him no, no…. “it’s not payday….”. HA! Now as a rising 13 year old, he understands finances just a bit more I can’t as easily get away with that line….
