As I plan for 2024, I began to reflect upon the epidemic of loneliness and how this condition rattles others. I was so encouraged to read the involvement and support of family members has also been repeatedly shown to improve disease management and the health of people with type 1 diabetes and type 2 diabetes (epidemic 2023). I can recall the many times this year I’ve told family and friends with this disease “we’re in this together” not knowing that simple line had healing benefits. On the contrary the opposite effects can occur as well. Social disconnection and low emotional support has been linked to increased risk for the development of type 2 diabetes. With my involvement in recent projects and my own journey in a new city I became curious about belonging.
The road to belonging is enhanced by 3 key elements: Social infrastructure, Social Support and Social Participation. This is very much an oversimplification of this topic, but the basis of my personal experience and views.
As adults and particularly parents we often know exactly how to help our children make friends. We sign them up for sports teams, encourage drama try outs, even engage in local Recreation centers activity groups. However, we don’t seem to give ourselves the same advice hence the need for a formula.
Let’s start with Social Infrastructure; these are programs, member associations, policies and physical elements of a community that support the development of social connections. As a more introverted personality, choosing to go places alone and engage in new interactions was daunting but necessary. These structures became my local YMCA, local theatre, and joining a CASA volunteer agency in organic interactions. I may not have made a best friend at every one, but the natural engagement in community was healing and enriching all at once.
Social Support is the perceived or actual availability of informational, tangible, and emotional resources from others, commonly one’s social network. I can recall sitting at a conference in Akron, OH last winter. I didn’t know anyone and everyone else seemed to know each other. I sat at a table alone, internally wishing I hadn’t come. A beautiful soul walked right up to me and said “are you new to Akron?”. I was so relieved someone spoke to me I started babbling all about our families move to Ohio and how hard it’s been socially, but I really wanted to meet people. She laughed, invited me to her table and has been a trusted colleague ever since. Her support in that brief moment changed my closed mindset and helped me open up.
Social participation is a person’s involvement in activities in the community or society that provides interaction with others. My best example for this concept is with my church. I’ve been a member of my family church regardless of what city I’ve lived in. My Family and I make the trek to socialize with the people I care so much about and have known me my entire life. When the pandemic hit and we could not gather, like many churches we gathered virtually. This was deeply meaningful for my sense of belonging. As recently as a few weeks ago, I was able to deliver a virtual healthy eating class to my church on zoom. Seeing their faces, hearing their voices and laughing at inside jokes while sharing my knowledge improved my wellness. A continued win from those pandemic days.
HHS The Epidemic of Loneliness
Transplanting into a new state as an adult can feel daunting. I recall at one point feeling so overwhelmed by the notion of building an entirely new village I avoided social participation altogether. Despite these feelings I was sustained by my my deep virtual village that lifted me up through those moments. Connecting into the local social infrastructure exponentially improved my sense of belonging. It hasn’t always been easy, but worth it in the end.
As you assess your level of social participation into the infrastructures in your life consider these questions:
Who is your virtual village?
Who is your physical village?
Where is your Social infrastructure?
Are you participating?
Write down your social formula: social infrastructure + social support + Social participation = belonging
Bonus: Think about your health goals: do you have opportunities to connect with individuals in your village with shared health goals?
References; The Epidemic of Loneliness;