According to Harvard Business Review more than 50% of Managers felt burned out in 2022. The key to combat burnout is Emotional Wellness. When we pour into ourselves before adversity, we shift from dependence on resilience to fortitude.
Fortitude is strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.
Enter installment #2 of the Whispers Queen Series. Ms. Dawanda Davis is a Superpower in the flesh. I’ve witnessed first-hand not only her ability to remain “deliberate calm” under pressure; but prayerfully and methodically design a life she loves. She walks with the confidence of a woman who knows exactly who she is. By vocation she is a Licensed Professional Counselor. In life she wears many other hats including Wife, Mom, Church Leader, and the title I love most “Servant Leader”.
Take what’s meant for you and leave what’s meant for someone else
What is Emotional Wellness?
Let’s orient to the Whispers working definition of Emotional wellness: the ability to cope with life’s challenges and adapt to change (sound familiar?). It’s a multi-dimensional concept that includes how positive someone feels about life and themselves, as well as their ability to form satisfying relationships.
Let’s dive into this wisdom-filled chat….
Me: Any reflections on the Whisper template rating each area?
Dawanda: I printed it out, introspectively looked at it; and scaled/ranked each level. I was pleasantly surprised at my responses. Making time and space for self-reflection on where I am and where I would like to be is important to me.
I made some goals from the template, in areas I chose. I’ve done a lot in my career in such a short time. Looking back on the journey, I’m proud of where I am today. I remember the desire and being in it.
I started off some years ago where I felt free and comfortable to be authentically Myself. I started praying God send me friends and people who you want to be in my life. Now I feel very happy, my children are well, my marriage is well, my career is going well. I feel settled in my identity.
“I feel at Peace, a stillness inside”
Me: How do you promote peace within?
Dawanda: You must first start with being truthful with yourself.
- Not warring with self or heart
- I assess inner peace regularly and take action when I feel unsettled
- I check in with Myself daily and throughout the day
- When I wake I up, I think about how I am feeling and plan my day based on that.
- If I wake up feeling fatigued, I think about how to preserve my energy that day.
- If I start out feeling fatigued, but then begin feeling more energy, I’m flexible enough in the moment to shift. Flexible enough in my thinking.
Me: How do you listen to your body?
Dawanda: My husband and I joined a gym and worked with a personal trainer. I started to realize I was not paying close attention to what my body does based on the food I eat. I started making a shift. I paid attention to eating soft foods, how foods affect my metabolism, and bloating. I started to notice how the way I prepare food made a difference. Once again, when I started paying attention to how body was responding to food; my actions shifted. Being in a different phase of life causes me to pay more attention.
Me: What came up as you reflected upon the emotional wellness definition?
Dawanda: Lean into anything and everything that gives you life. Guard your heart to keep everything bad out and everything good in.
Protect Yourself from other People’s Stuff
In the field I serve in; you have to learn what is ours and what is theirs. It is very easy to get enmeshed and entrapped with other peoples stuff.
Even with my children I don’t control them, but I assist them. I Empower them.
Me: There’s a Quote I lean on as a Parent “Sometimes the right decision still hurts”.
Me: One sign of being emotionally well is being able to recognize and experience a range of emotions. How do you get comfortable with all of your emotions?
Dawanda:
- Introspection
- Be diligent checking in with yourself every day
- How you are feeling physically
- Thoughts you are experiencing
- What kind of thoughts are you having, are you ruminating?
- (Ruminating is repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences)
- What kind of thoughts are you having, are you ruminating?
- Paying attention to what’s going on in your body you will recognize when something is off
- We can fly high in one area like career wellness but ignore another area we are not like emotional wellness.
- Value the importance of being whole across the board.
- Be diligent checking in with yourself every day
- Are you surrounded by negative energy?
- Anywhere there is toxicity it will show up emotionally or mentally.
- Pay attention physically, aches, stress around shoulders, pressure in chest, headaches, irritable.
- Am I unable to focus and concentrate, am I argumentative?
Me: Well I can only hope when I’m tired, I look as beautiful as you do right now!!
Me: What are two ways we all can build Fortitude?
Dawanda:
1. Pay attention to the various categories in life. I had to learn whenever there is an issue; it’s not going to show up in just one area of life, it’s going to show up in several.
2. Do an emotional check, social, family, career, ect… your health and body at least daily. Focus on what you can control.
Me: Finish this sentence for me….I want every woman to give themself radical permission to….
Dawanda: Live Healed and Purposefully
*snaps *snaps *snaps
I hope this wisdom was helpful to you.
In peace,
J